


Romantic as a Duck with a Chainsaw

by Attic_Nights



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Even Richard Speight Jnr knows about the duck with a chainsaw, Fluff, M/M, Schmoop, crack!fic, i dont even know man, now with fanart, so get in on it peeps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-05 07:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1810540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attic_Nights/pseuds/Attic_Nights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Gabriel is creative and Sam is shocked. </p><p>("But you said you liked my other designs." Gabriel has the gall to point this out, as if that explained away Creating a flying chainsaw.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Romantic as a Duck with a Chainsaw

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sabrielotp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabrielotp/gifts).



> Inspired by [sabriel-otp](http://sabriel-otp.tumblr.com/)'s [tumblr post](http://sabriel-otp.tumblr.com/post/89225321639/trying-to-write-something-completely-romantic-and). In the space of the two seconds, I looked at it, opened a .txt file and gave birth to _this. thing._
> 
> [(originally posted on my tumblr)](http://attic-nights.tumblr.com/post/89229223103/sabriel-otp-trying-to-write-something)
> 
>  **EDIT:** GUYS LOOK THERE'S [FANART](http://sabriel-otp.tumblr.com/post/90166862359/just-a-lil-prezzie-for-everyones-favorite-duck) [AND](http://sabriel-otp.tumblr.com/post/100125057609/so-i-received-a-box-today-from) [(AND THIS)](http://funkoadventures.tumblr.com/post/111107311078/x) AND [RICHARD SPEIGHT JR (Gabriel) MET THE DUCK WITH THE CHAINSAW](http://destielhiseyesopened.tumblr.com/post/97282244956/this-one-requires-a-bit-of-back-story-lol-you).

"A duck with a chainsaw?"

This was all Sam Winchester could say for the moment, the rest of his brain and subsequent powers of concentration clinging to the rather unwieldy form of— well, a duck with a chainsaw. There were no other words for it.

Gabriel’s expectant face peers up at him, molten eyes wide and alive. Sam ignores these eyes with some difficulty, because there was a duck with a chainsaw. In the hotel room. Standing over dubious carpet stain # 7.

"You like it, Sambo?"

A strangled noise escapes from Sam’s throat as the duck makes eye contact with him. This was more disconcerting when coupled with the fact that the chainsaw _turns on_.

"Chillax. She won’t hurt her papas." He goes up to the cat-sized duck and _coochie-coos_ her neck. The chainsaw makes a purring noise like a cat.

"A DUCK WITH A CHAINSAW" replies Sam, since this message seemed lost in the ether.

Gabriel _tutts_ at the room. “If you’re going to make noises like a constipated kettle, of course she’s gonna think you’re threatening her.”

Gabriel picks up the duck with the chainsaw, and slouches in on her. For the first time in the eternity existing between _‘no duck with a chainsaw is in the room’_ , and _‘a duck with a chainsaw is in the room’_ , Sam is struck with guilt.

"So, uh, what was the, uh creative process that lead to this?" he asks, his voice somewhat stuck in his throat like bacon rind.

"You liked my _other_ designs,” Gabriel pouts, all five foot nothing of terrifying and great archangel. _Forlornly._

"So, I say I liked the mantis shrimp and the platypus, and you…?" Gabriel nods, nose now buried in eiderdown. The duck with a chainsaw stares at Sam accusingly through slitted beady eyes. "Don’t you think it’s a little… dangerous?"

"But you _said_ you liked my other designs." Gabriel has the gall to point this out, as if that explained away Creating a flying chainsaw.

Sam narrows his eyes. “And what’s so dangerous about colorful shrimp and a duck-cross-beaver?”

"The mantis shrimp has two raptorial appendages that can break through aquarium glass." Gabriel cocks his head threateningly. "And the platypus has highly venomous ankle spurs."

For the twenty seconds it takes for Sam to process this information, he spends another twenty seconds considering the battered box of service station mousse chocolates he’d gotten for Gabriel, and feels inadequate. 

Sam goes to Gabriel and puts an arm around him. Gabriel looks up. As does the monster duck. Sam looks at them both and manages a smile.

"She’s a very thoughtful Anniversary gift. Thank you."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah, like she could be the new natural predator for vamps."

Gabriel smiles, and Sam smiles back, and the duck with a chainsaw quacks, and that was the story of how they lost their hotel room security deposit.

**Author's Note:**

> The mantis shrimp and platypus are legit terrifying, adorable creatures. The male platypus has a calcaneus spur on his hind feet that delivers enough venom to kill a dog and incapacitate a human. Oedema rapidly develops around the wound and gradually spreads throughout the affected limb, and there are accounts of hyperalgesia, wherein any pain (from anything) felt even months afterwards is heightened. [And here's a dandy comic about why the mantis shrimp is the harbinger of blood-soaked rainbows.](http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp)


End file.
